Thursday 13 October 2016

The Three Holy Youths and the Image of the Beast

Icon of the Three Holy Youths

As I explain at some length in the new edition of my book Unveiling the Apocalypse: The Final Passover of the Church, when Our Lady of Fatima revealed the frightening vision of hell to the three shepherd children at the Cova da Iria on 13th July, 1917, it was clearly intended to parallel the story of the Three Holy Youths in the Book of Daniel, and at the same time tie this narrative into the description of the lake of fire given in the Apocalypse:

Our Lady showed us a great sea of fire which seemed to be under the earth. Plunged in this fire were demons and souls in human form, like transparent burning embers, all blackened or burnished bronze, floating about in the conflagration, now raised into the air by the flames that issued from within themselves together with great clouds of smoke, now falling back on every side like sparks in a huge fire, without weight or equilibrium, and amid shrieks and groans of pain and despair, which horrified us and made us tremble with fear. The demons could be distinguished by their terrifying and repulsive likeness to frightful and unknown animals, all black and transparent. This vision lasted but an instant. How can we ever be grateful enough to our kind heavenly Mother, who had already prepared us by promising, in the first Apparition, to take us to heaven. Otherwise, I think we would have died of fear and terror. 
We then looked up at Our Lady, who said to us so kindly and so sadly: 
“You have seen hell where the souls of poor sinners go. To save them, God wishes to
establish in the world devotion to my Immaculate Heart. If what I say to you is done, many souls will be saved and there will be peace"...

In the First Secret of Fatima, the shepherd children symbolize the Three Holy Youths of

the Book of Daniel, who were able to walk unharmed inside King Nebuchadnezzar's 
blazing furnace due to the protection of an angel who appeared alongside them. Only in
the vision of the First Secret, the angel is represented by the Blessed Virgin. By basing
itself symbolically on the story of the Three Holy Youths in Dan 3 and combining this with
the description of the lake of fire in the Book of Revelation, the first part of the Secret of Fatima deliberately recalls the fate of those who worship the image of the Beast in Rev 13, who are thrown into the sea of fire, and serves to act as a warning against participating in idolatry.
The imagery of the sea of fire in the First Secret is directly lifted from the lake of fire described in the Apocalypse. The lake of fire standing before the throne of God is described
in the Book of Revelation as the place of punishment for those who have worshiped the
image of the Beast and accepted its mark:

"And another angel, a third, followed them, saying with a loud voice, “If anyone worships

the beast and its image and receives a mark on his forehead or on his hand, he also will
drink the wine of God's wrath, poured full strength into the cup of his anger, and he will
be tormented with fire and sulfur in the presence of the holy angels and in the presence of
the Lamb. And the smoke of their torment goes up forever and ever, and they have no rest,
day or night, these worshipers of the beast and its image, and whoever receives the mark of
its name.”  (Rev 14:9-11)
In the book of Daniel, we are told that the Three Holy Youths were thrown into a blazing furnace under the orders of Nebuchadnezzar for refusing to worship a golden image that he had erected in the plain of Dura, just outside of the city of Babylon:

King Nebuchadnezzar made an image of gold, whose height was sixty cubits and its breadth six cubits. He set it up on the plain of Dura, in the province of Babylon. Then King Nebuchadnezzar sent to gather the satraps, the prefects, and the governors, the counselors,
the treasurers, the justices, the magistrates, and all the officials of the provinces to come to
the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. Then the satraps, the prefects, and the governors, the counselors, the treasurers, the justices, the magistrates, and all the officials of the provinces gathered for the dedication of the image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. And they stood before the image that Nebuchadnezzar had set up. And the herald proclaimed aloud, “You are commanded, O peoples, nations, and languages, that when you hear the sound of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe, and every kind of music, you are to fall down and worship the golden image that King Nebuchadnezzar has set up. And whoever does not fall down and worship shall immediately be cast into a burning
fiery furnace.” Therefore, as soon as all the peoples heard the sound of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe, and every kind of music, all the peoples, nations, and languages fell down and worshiped the golden image that King Nebuchadnezzar had set up. 
Therefore at that time certain Chaldeans came forward and maliciously accused the Jews. They declared to King Nebuchadnezzar, “O king, live forever! You, O king, have made a decree, that every man who hears the sound of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe,
and every kind of music, shall fall down and worship the golden image. And whoever does
not fall down and worship shall be cast into a burning fiery furnace. There are certain Jews whom you have appointed over the affairs of the province of Babylon: Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. These men, O king, pay no attention to you; they do not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”
Then Nebuchadnezzar in furious rage commanded that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego
be brought. So they brought these men before the king. Nebuchadnezzar answered and said
to them, “Is it true, O Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the golden image that I have set up? Now if you are ready when you hear the sound
of the horn, pipe, lyre, trigon, harp, bagpipe, and every kind of music, to fall down and worship the image that I have made, well and good. But if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you
out of my hands?”
Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king.
But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the
golden image that you have set up.”

Then Nebuchadnezzar was filled with fury, and the expression of his face was changed
against Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. He ordered the furnace heated seven times
more than it was usually heated. And he ordered some of the mighty men of his army to
bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, and to cast them into the burning fiery furnace.
Then these men were bound in their cloaks, their tunics, their hats, and their other garments, and they were thrown into the burning fiery furnace. Because the king's order was urgent
and the furnace overheated, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, fell
bound into the burning fiery furnace.
Then King Nebuchadnezzar was astonished and rose up in haste. He declared to his counselors, “Did we not cast three men bound into the fire?” They answered and said to the king, “True, O king.” He answered and said, “But I see four men unbound, walking in the midst of the fire, and they are not hurt; and the appearance of the fourth is like a son of the gods.”
Then Nebuchadnezzar came near to the door of the burning fiery furnace; he declared, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come out, and come here!” Then Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego came out from the fire. And the satraps, the prefects, the governors, and the king's counselors gathered together and saw that the fire had not had any power over the bodies of those men. The hair of their heads was not singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and no smell of fire had come upon them. Nebuchadnezzar
answered and said, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent his angel and delivered his servants, who trusted in him, and set aside the king's command, and yielded up their bodies rather than serve and worship any god except their own God. Therefore I make a decree: Any people, nation, or language that speaks anything against the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego shall be torn limb from limb, and their houses
laid in ruins, for there is no other god who is able to rescue in this way.” Then the king promoted Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego in the province of Babylon.  (Dan 3:1-30)

By alluding to the Three Holy Youths of the Book of Daniel who refuse to worship Nebuchadnezzar's golden image in the context of imagery presented in the Apocalypse concerning the fate of those who worship the image of the Beast, the vision of the First

Secret subtlety informs us that the contents of three parts of the Secret of Fatima does
indeed concern chapter 13 of the Book of Revelation. This portion of the Apocalypse was singled out by Sr. Lucia to be of particular importance to the interpretation of the visions seen by the shepherd children. There is a scholarly consensus that the passage concerning the image of the Beast in the Apocalypse is primarily based on the erection of a golden statue of Nebuchadnezzar described in Dan 3. Just as those who refuse to pay homage to the image of the Beast are killed in Rev 13:15, we are told in Dan 3 that those who refused to worship the golden image of Nebuchadnezzar were to be executed by being thrown into a blazing furnace. To further reinforce the link with Rev 13, the dimensions of Nebuchadnezzar's statue is 60 cubits by 6 cubits, which prefigures the number that is assigned to the Beast itself - 666.
The story of Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego is further elaborated upon in the Deuterocanonical work The Prayer of Azariah and the Song of the Three Holy Children - which helps to elucidate its striking parallels with the First Secret of Fatima.
The Deuterocanonical material of the Book of Daniel concerning the story of Bel and the Dragon is also reflected in narrative concerning the image of the Beast in the Apocalypse. Both of these narratives share the overarching theme of a pagan idol which is seemingly brought to life. While the False Prophet "breathes life" into the image of the Beast so that it has the ability to talk and identify those who refuse to worship it, singling them out for persecution, the prophets of Bel attempt to deceive the inhabitants of Babylon into believing that the idol of Bel was really alive through the use of religious charlatanry.

Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb and it spoke
like a dragon. It exercises all the authority of the first beast in its presence, and makes the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose mortal wound was healed. It
performs great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in front of people,
and by the signs that it is allowed to work in the presence of the beast it deceives those who dwell on earth, telling them to make an image for the beast that was wounded by the sword and yet lived. And it was allowed to give breath to the image of the beast, so that the image
of the beast might even speak and might cause those who would not worship the image of
the beast to be slain.  (Rev 13:11-15)

The image of the Beast described in the Apocalypse is directly based on the ancient automata that were frequently incorporated into pagan idols in order to give them a semblance of life, and they were sometimes even used to issue oracles through simple gestures made by operating an elaborate mechanism through the use of water or steam and a system of gears
and levers. In Greek mythology, the inventor Daedalus (the father of Icarus) was thought to have used the "magical" properties of quicksilver in order to install voices into moving
statues he had crafted, and the workshop of the god Hephaestus was said to have been filled with automatons who served him. But the use of automatons in antiquity was not just the
stuff of legend. The ancient Greeks and Romans had the ability to construct relatively sophisticated automated devices such as the Antikythera mechanism, and their use was
fairly widespread by the time St. John wrote the Apocalypse.
So the image of the Beast described in Apocalypse is directly based on the example of
ancient automata, and is said to possess some kind of artificial intelligence which allows it
to detect and identify those who refuse to participate in its worship. Once we transpose this imagery onto a modern template, we can only be left to conclude that the automated device 
symbolized by the image of the Beast is some form of contemporary computer.
If we look back to the exact date when Sr. Lucia first wrote down the first two parts of the Secret of Fatima in her Third Memoir in August 1941, we find that this was timed to
directly coincide with the creation of the world's first programmable computer - the Turing-complete Z3 system devised by Konrad Zuse, which was unveiled in Berlin on May 12th 1941. Given the fact that the First Secret of Fatima is so closely associated with the
story of the Three Holy Youths and the image of the Beast described in the Apocalypse, it appears to be beyond coincidence that Sr. Lucia would have been prompted to put these secrets to writing at the exact moment the first modern computer was introduced to
the world. We now know that the Third Secret was only first put to writing as the result of
an apparition of the Blessed Virgin to Sr. Lucia in 1944. So it is quite probable that the composition of the first two parts of the Secret were similarly prompted by a private revelation.
Given the fact that the development of the Z3 computer was sponsored by the Nazi government for potential military applications, these findings can be used to further
establish the true identity of the False Prophet as Adolf Hitler. As I attempt to show at some length in the book, this interpretation is also strongly suggested by Daniel's various prophecies concerning the 1,290 and 2,300 days in relation to the timing of the restoration
of Israel after the persecution of Daniel's people by the "Little Horn". In the Book of Daniel, the "saints of the Most High" (i.e. the Jews) only have the Holy Land restored to them after they persecuted by the Little Horn, in a model which closely follows the persecution of the Jews by Antiochus IV before the Maccabean revolt.
While the timing of the publication of the first two parts of the Secrets of Fatima strongly suggests that modern computer technology is in some way related to the image of the Beast described in the Apocalypse, we can be fairly confident that the ultimate significance of this prophecy still lies in the future. The construction of the image of the Beast was first incited 
by the False Prophet, who deceives humanity into fashioning this idol for the Beast. But its fullest potential will not be reached until the Antichrist comes to power. It is then that the Antichrist will exploit this technology to its fullest extent, making it impossible for anyone
to buy or sell without its use under the watchful gaze of the image of the Beast itself, which
is used to identify those who refuse to worship it by its own volition. This not only suggests that the image of the Beast possesses some sort of artificial intelligence, but also
that it has the capabilities of mass surveillance of the public - something much akin to how the worldwide web is already being exploited by the world's governments.
It is tempting to suggest that during the age of the Antichrist, computer technology will have reached the point where the worldwide web acts as one massive singular superintelligence, which has a direct window into each of our own homes, constantly monitoring our behaviour. This prospect is a truly frightening tool for any dystopian government to have at
its disposal, and we can be certain that any future world dictator would seek to use this technology to suit his own agenda, using it to automatically select any enemies of the regime for elimination, just as the image of the Beast can "speak" and cause those who refuse to worship it to be slain (Rev 13:15). And just as Nebuchadnezzar's golden image acts as the prototype for the image of the Beast and measures 60 x 6 cubits, the acronym of the
worldwide web - www, directly transliterates from Hebrew as the letters waw waw waw - which has the numerical equivalence of three sixes - 6-6-6, lending us a further insight into
the true metaphysical nature of this technology.
The single most dangerous prospect of developing an artificial superintelligence is that we may be in the process of creating an idol in the truest sense of the word - one that has the potential to amass "godlike" powers here on earth. In doing so, there is the possibility that 
we creating a vessel that could be some way inhabited or driven by a separate preternatural intelligence with an agenda of its own. The creation of an artificial superintelligence is vaunted by the transhumanist movement as the first step in an intelligence explosion that
will lead to the creation of artificial eternal life. However it is exactly such hubris that
causes the arm of the angel with the flaming sword to descend to earth in order to protect
the way to the Tree of Life.
Paralleling the imagery of the Three Holy Youths standing unscathed in Nebuchadnezzar's furnace, we are told that those who have conquered the Beast and his image by laying down their lives stand upon the sea of fire untouched by its unending flames singing the Song of Moses:

And I saw what appeared to be a sea of glass mingled with fire—and also those who had conquered the beast and its image and the number of its name, standing [upon] the sea of glass with harps of God in their hands. And they sing the song of Moses, the servant of
God, and the song of the Lamb... (Rev 15:2-3)

This stands in direct contrast against those who worship the Beast and his image in Rev 14:9-11, who are cast forever into the same lake of fire that was seen by the shepherd
children in the first part of the Secret of Fatima. The primary theme of the Song of Moses contained in Deut 32 is a warning against participating in idolatry, which has a
renewed significance directed against those who worship the image of the Beast, warning
of God's judgement being meted out by the descent of the sword seen in the Third Secret:

For I lift up my hand to heaven and swear, as I live forever, if I sharpen my flashing sword
and my hand takes hold on judgment, I will take vengeance on my adversaries and will

repay those who hate me. (Deut 32:40-41)

After the two parts which I have already explained, at the left of Our Lady and a little above, we saw an Angel with a flaming sword in his left hand; flashing, it gave out flames that
looked as though they would set the world on fire... (The Third Secret of Fatima)


Mark L said...

So many stretches on this one, it's hard to know where to start. To take the Z3 as a starting point as the first computer is a huge stretch. To suggest that it will be the development of advanced Artificial Intelligence which will cause the angel to descend and strike us is another huge stretch. There are so many in here that it stretches credulity like a rubber band.

We have gone so many decades with worldwide abortion. We've redefined marriage itself, we've created multi-parent children in the laboratory. There are profound global spiritual crises. The collapse of morality and belief. I can't see any reason to move past spiritual interpretations such as offered by Fr. Gobbi for "www." The Marian Movement of Priests has a massive following of untold thousands of deeply devout and holy priests, not to mention many bishops. If those locutions are true, then Our Lady gives extensive explanations for "www" which are vastly more profound than the one offered here. I have to go with the Marian Movement of Priests on this one.

Mark L.

Dutchman said...

Just got your book today and read the portion about the martyrdom of a Pope. I recalled this recent post on another website about Pope Francis being killed. What are your thoughts?

"Having followed your writings for a few years now and reading on the new website that the Blessed Mother had requested people to share any visions or messages they were receiving, I wanted to communicate some insights I have received over the last few months as they might aid the faithful in persevering through the events to come since they relate to global events affecting everyone.

In August, there were a series of visions that related to the church, which essentially communicated the following ideas.
◦I saw the Holy Father disappear. I sensed Pope Francis will be martyred sometime after Easter 2017. I do not know the perpetrator but suspect the terrorist group ISIS is the culprit as they have stated Pope Francis is a prime target.
◦I saw an empty space instead of a new pope. A new Pope will not be elected because subversives in the church hierarchy will block an election. The Church will be without a Holy Father.
◦I saw the Eucharist disappear from the tabernacle. The subversive hierarchy will implement or force changes in the mass that will cause the transubstantiation not to occur.
◦I saw a bigger group of people bullying and shouting down a smaller group. Many in the church, leaders and laity, will follow this new way saying it is contemporary and will argue with, refuse to listen to, and shout down anyone who disagrees with them.

Emmett O'Regan said...

Mark L, I know you have disagreed with me on this subject before. I'd have to trawl back through previous posts to find our previous discussion on this particular topic. I understand your misgivings, but the argument extends much deeper than what I can explain here on a single blog post, so I can't cover all the bases. It's not the development of A.I that draws my concern, but the transhumanist idea that humanity can create artificial eternal life here on earth through technology - a concept which literally is reaching out for the fruit of the Tree of Life. As far as I remember, Fr. Gobbi said that the image of the Beast was T.V and modern social communications technology. Not a million miles away really, since this was before the invention of the internet. If you have the time, read the material I present in this new edition first to get up to speed, then get back to me. You might find the combined evidence more compelling.

Emmett O'Regan said...

Thanks Dutchman1847! I instinctively don't trust contemporary claims of private revelations, unless they are associated with very clear supernatural phenomena. As a piece of speculation, yes the focus of ISIS on Pope Francis is very concerning.

Anonymous said...

Probably you know of all of the insidious effects the Internet is already attributed to causing -- Nicholas Carr says it rewires our neurons in such a way as to make prolonged concentration and contemplation (prerequisites for prayer!) more difficult. Sherry Turkle describes the social underdevelopment of children (who, for example, lack empathy) who use social media. Matthew Crawford describes the breakdown of our engagement with the real-world because of digital and online marketing and advertising... Remember too that John Senior described the Internet, as it is the alternate world of the virtual, as the essence of the demonic. All of this seems to beg the question: Aren't we already at the point where we should be abstaining from engagement online? Is not the spirit of Antichrist already at work in lulling us into a non-real world, distracting us from family dinners, from the people with whom we are present, suggesting we need to be always aware of what is happening "in the world," giving us false and unsatisfying sensations of activity as we traverse the unending and false infinite of the WWW?

Think about it. We're already there.

An Internet Addict

Emmett O'Regan said...

You make an important point there "Internet Addict". Even though it can be used for good as well as evil, this technology most certainly isn't neutral. It has an end-game of its own. It is gradually transforming society in a very negative way, fostering introversion and division, among many other things. We only need to take a look around us when out and about just how transfixed people have become with their gadgets above those around them. It's strange seeing young people hanging about in a group all just staring down at their mobile phones rather than enjoying each other's company. I think it will eventually be seen for what it truly is once the culmination of these effects starts to take hold, and the Church may end up denouncing it completely. For now, I think it is still possible to use it in good conscience as long as its used for the right purposes and a healthy balance is struck. But once the Church makes a ruling, we won't have any grey areas to cling to. We need to be prepared to disengage completely.

Jason R. said...

I am sorry for posting so very off-topic, but in the few years I've been a regular reader and sometimes contributor to the comments section I've come to realize and appreciate how very close to God's ear the lips of many of the contributors are, and of course Emmett himself.

I am going through a trial of fire right now; I don't know how else to describe it. As some of you might remember, I am on a fairly meager disability benefit which with the costs of the many prescriptions I have to take leaves me with very little money. Just since August, my marriage has completely fallen apart.

My wife, who I always believed to be a very devout Catholic, she is even a Third Order Carmelite, has wracked up a huge debt and refuses to explain where all the money went, (85,000 dollars in total, though I did lower it by 17,000 from a life insurance policy from my father's fairly recent passing), I have caught her in dozens of lies, infidelities, and as hard to believe as it sounds, many people close to me have come to me with years of suspicions they have had that she suffers from Munchhausen Syndrome by Proxy, where someone close to you poisons you to gain pity and sympathy, which they are addicted to like a drug.

As paranoid as this sounds, I did develop a sudden heart condition that mystified the cardiologist I went to as my stress test and EKG came back great, that I had the same strength in my heart as the average person 16 years younger than me. My heart problem got worse and worse, and I finally had a full cardiac arrest, and my wife (who is a homeopath, which means she has a very extensive knowledge of every exotic poison in the world) helped me to bed, refused to call an ambulance, and when I begged her to stay with me because I didn't want to die alone, and also asked her to please hold my hand, she said she didn't have time, turned off the light, and shut the door. I believe I may have died and Our Lord brought me back for some purpose that is yet to be revealed to me, because I had a vision (or perhaps a hallucination caused by lack of oxygen to the brain, I honestly don't really know) of Purgatory, something that I do not feel is right to share the details of in a public way.

When she came back in the room, as calm as she was through the whole incident, the only thing she asked me was, "Did you have a near-death experience?". The whole event was chilling, and after that all I have eaten at all is canned food; I am hyper-aware of absolutely anything I take into my body now. And when I made that switch? My unstable angina completely disappeared. I have not had to use my nitroglycerin spray even once.

Since then my sister has expressed some concerns and raised some very valid issues around my father's death. And she broke the horrible news that she was hoping to spare me from but thought it was time I should know that my wife was having a sexual relationship with my 71 year-old dad, and draining him of all his savings, close to a million dollars that disappeared in inexpiable withdrawals from his investment portfolio coinciding with when I got married to my wife.

Jason R. said...

... cont.

It even gets worse and worse, but I think I have provided enough detail, other than I'd add that on Thanksgiving on Monday she came by with the kids, I caught her putting some sort of drops into my dog's water dish, and he almost died on Tuesday from some sort of poisoning... and I also found out that going back to even before we were married that she has been telling all our mutual friends and even my own daughter that I had been physically and emotionally abusing her, including threatening to kill her with a screwdriver.

Friends, my Unveiling The Apocalypse friends, I am in need of prayer like I never have before in my life, and I have had some very trying life experiences. It literally feels like I am trapped in a horror movie, or an episode of the Twilight Zone, or a nightmare, but one that I can't wake up from because this is all real-life... I am terrified of being arrested, committed, or kicked out of my own home with no place to live even though I put the 75k downpayment on the home, held 25k back for emergencies (that she went through in less than 4 months), and she never paid a penny towards either household bills or the mortgage. I am filled with continual fear that I just can't chase away, not with prayer, not with medication, nothing. Please pray as fervently as you can muster, even just once, just a few seconds long even. Please, I am begging all of you for your help, to ask for my deliverance, for it feels like there may be a real essence of spiritual warfare going on under the surface with this kind of, well, evil happening all around and threatening to engulf me fully.

I just really need all of your help, I've never needed help like this in my life, and I'd ask you for your interventionary prayer to be directed as an intercession through Our Mother, for I know Mary would never deny help to a man in such dire need, paying for crimes not committed in a real sense. I thank you all who can take the time for a quick prayer for me, my safety, and my now very uncertain future.

Emmett O'Regan said...

I am absolutely shocked by your plight Jason. I remember you speaking quite fondly of your wife and her dedication to the Church. Are you still unable to walk? My prayers are with you and your family during these dark times. Never give up hope. He is with you always...

consolata said...

Oh Jason ! Indeed I will be praying for you, and I am confident that others who come here will, as well.
It is certainly not only women who have recourse to "Women's Shelters" : So I hope that you know that you can call locally, wherever you live, and ask for help. Most recently I took a neighbor to one, and I mention it because she had a dog: she was able to bring him in with her since he was 'licensed' not as animal for a physical disability, but rather as one who provided emotional assistance: so she was lucky: however, If Nothing Else, there are many organizations who would, I so hope, be able to give you information so that you can get out of this situation as soon as possible.
The mental abuse you are suffering is really horrible. Our good, good Lord provides answers prayers often with the very people who man the many services and organizations in our communities for this kind of situation you are in. Please protect yourself, spiritually, emotionally, physically.

Jason R. said...

Thank you so much Emmett, and also Consolata (what an apropos name), and, yes, it was just as much of a shock to me Emmett, because my wife from all outward appearances looked (and looks) like the perfect devoted mother and spouse; I was even reminded of the story of a nun (I believe in France) who all through her life was considered a living saint and received the stigmata, had incidences of levitation, etc., but only on her death bed did she confess to having made a pact with Satan as a young girl, and all the gifts she had displayed were actually demonic in nature, which isn't to suggest my wife is possessed or anything of that extreme magnitude, but she is certainly listening not to her Guardian Angel whispering in her ear, and what better place than someone very given over to evil to hide than in a religious order, even as a secular member?

I am hoping on with my heart to these verses from Scripture that have resonated with my soul especially loudly, and the words of my wife's Order's founder, if I may share:

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you."

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control."

"May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and increase your numbers until you become a community of peoples."

"I know your deeds, your love and faith, your service and perseverance, and that you are now doing more than you did at first."

"Therefor, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothes yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience."

"Do not withhold good from those to who it is due, when it is in your power to act."

"In everything he did he had great success, because the Lord was with him."

This one is my favourite:

"And we know that in *all things* God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

"One who loves a pure heart and who speaks with grace will have the King for a friend."

This one seems to sum up all of our shared situation to a "t" right now:

"Even in the laughter the heart may ache, and rejoicing may end in grief."

"I am the Light of the World. Whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Jason R. said...

... cont.

"And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds."

"There is a time for everything, a season for every purpose under Heaven; a time to be born, a time to die, a time to plant, a time to reap, a time to kill, a time to heal, a time to tear down, and a time to build."

"Taste and see the Goodness of the Lord."

"Let nothing disturb you,
Nothing cause you fear;
All things pass,
God is unchanging.
Patience obtains all:
Whoever has God
Needs nothing else;
God alone suffices." - St. Teresa of Avila

Yes, Emmett, I am much more mobile now since I started watching very carefully what I am ingesting into my body... and with all that needs to be done to get the house in shape for sale, as well as trips to a neighbouring city (she contacted every law firm in our town just so none would be able to take my case due to a conflict of interest), I have limited eating to one can of soup every 3 or 4 days, pureed through my trusty Magic Bullet, otherwise just Boost, Ensure, and Starbucks Frappachinos (!) I even managed to build a new fence along the back of our lot, doing all the carpentry, painting, and actually construction on my own. But it isn't a good long term solution (I have lost over 30 pounds in the last month and a half), though hopefully I can finish the rest of what needs to be done, get out of here quickly, and on to a new home and a brand new life, and start eating again even though that will probably again immobilize me.

In my 20s I spent a year in formation planning to enter the priesthood, but I had a daughter out of wedlock at a very young age, and our Archbishop said to avoid bringing scandal on the Church, I would have to stop seeing her completely. As my daughter was already 4 years old, and even if she were still an infant, that was just a sacrifice that I couldn't make, not even to answer a possible call to a vocation as a priest.

But that little nagging has never left me, which caused me a lot of confusion living as a married man. I thought maybe if my wife passed on before I did perhaps God could still have some use for me. But with my daughter 25 years old, and I'm quite sure an annulment of our marriage considering what was already going on behind my back before we even got married is a real possibility, well, who knows? I have always thought of the Franciscan mission on East Hasting in Vancouver (Canada's most drug-infested neighbourhood) as a place where maybe I could do some good.

Now that is putting the cart very far ahead of the horse, but thinking of possibilities for the future, especially if Our Lord called me back to life as I suspect He may have (I also had a miraculous intervention at 19 in a car accident, and what I believe *may* have been a miraculous healing as well when a spinal injury that left me paralyzed disappeared after 3 months in the hospital, though the spinal injury caught up with me with a degenerated vagus nerve which causes my GI tract paralysis); I just feel God doesn't intervene in cases like mine unless He has some special purpose, that as of yet hasn't revealed itself to me... so please pray for me also for guidance and discernment in my life after I escape my present predicament.

Jason R. said...

I forgot to mention, I went to confession recently in this same neighbouring city because all of the priests in my town are such good friends with my wife that I felt too scared to go to them; they uniformly think quite badly of me. But without mentioning my present circumstances, the priest told me that I needed to start using the gift of my intellect and not only to think with my heart; if the two are out of sync, there will be no peace in my life. And he gave me a quite unique penance in any experience I have heard of: to read Psalm 31 every night before bed for the rest of my days. And that has been a great source of comfort (and much of it surprisingly fitting of my situation, right down to speaking of bones wasting away and one of my biggest sources of pain being advanced osteoarthritis in my spine due to my aforementioned spinal injury from 1990).

Mark W said...

Well, Jason, you can rest assured of my prayers. A couple of quick things for now, and maybe a bit more tomorrow.

First off - Once upon a time, I had a bit of a reputation for being a prayer warrior. You've inspired me to get back at that a bit. But as a prayer warrior, you generally don't tell people what you've done or will do (Mt 6:5-6). But I will say, to give you a bit of hope for the moment, that I've already prayed the Penitential Psalms for you and your family, as well as a full Litany of the Saints. Suffice to say that more will be offered, but I won't go into any details now or in the future.

Secondly, I've mentioned before that I'm a Benedictine Oblate myself. If you'd like, I can get your intentions put on the prayer list of a monastery in Indiana and a convent in Kansas. I'm directly bound to the one in Indiana, and have a relationship with the one in Kansas. Neither would mind in the least bit to help out. I asked both to pray for me to get a job, and I had one in less than a month (yes, there were other factors - like the 5000 of resumes I sent out - but they did help a great deal in my just knowing that they were there).

Next, how are you stocked for sacramentals? This could easily be a form of mental illness, that's absolutely true. But I can assure you, the third orders can be quite heavily attacked by the darkness; I'm one, I know. Most are not, but I know that some are attacked quite savagely and those attacks can be...let's just say that they can be pretty tough to get through sometimes. If you don't have them already, I can supply you with a blessed candle or two, and some blessed salt. I can even ship a small thing of Holy Water, if you don't have ready access. Then comes the test. When your wife isn't around, you sprinkle the salt all around the inside of the house with a short and simple prayer. Then light the candle while your wife is around. If there's a reaction - and you'll know if there is (whatever form of reaction you get, she'll likely want to leave the house for a while) - then it might me as much a spiritual battle as an economic or psychological one. If you're interested, let me know and we'll figure out the logistics.

Lastly, you should consider going to the authorities. The one that brings it to the attention of the police is less likely to be a suspect than if they come looking for you. I'm not saying that you should do it since I don't know all the details, but just to consider it.

One side note - I actually have a bound copy of the Rite of Exorcism, in a book that was blessed by a very holy priest. I have to admit that it crossed my mind to read that on your behalf. But it didn't quite seem appropriate, what with me not being a priest and all. And I've never actually read it all the way through...kinda frightening, really.

You really MUST keep the lines of communication open. Keep talking to us. Even if it's just to pop in once in a while to tell us that everything is ok.

I'll post a couple of more Psalms for you tomorrow. And a quote from St. John of the Cross, if I can find it.

Pax Christi sit semper vobiscum,


Mark W said...

One last thing I didn't really explain. The blessed salt is one of the things used in the Rite of Exorcism. It can be a pretty potent sacramental in its own way.

Mark W said...

Jason -

Try Psalm 69 as well -

O God, come to my assistance! O Lord, make haste to help me!

Let them be confounded and ashamed, who seek after my life.

Let them be turned back and blush for shame, who wish me evil.

Let them at once turn back in shame that say to me: "ha! ha!".

Let all that seek the rejoice and be glad in Thee.

And let them who love Thy salvation always say: "The Lord be praised!"

But I am needy and poor; O God, help me. Thou art my Helper and my Savior; O Lord, do not delay

Glory be to the Father...

The translation is from the Monastic Diurnal.

I couldn't find the St. John of the Cross quote. Still looking. Keep checking back.

Jason R. said...

That is a strange thing, we do have many sacramentals, we've had our house and family consecrated fully to the Sacred Heart of Jesus and Immaculate Heart of Mary with the full ceremony and installation, have many statues of saints, a large St. Benedict's medal hung on the wall above our kind of little shrine, holy water in a fount at the front door that we always have filled, etc.

Something that I have noticed, and Martina is finally talking to me after I kind of had to butter her up a bit (as I have been reading about covert narcissism which really seems to fit Martina to a "t", I guess I could phrase it as supplying her with her drug of choice, narcissistic supply in the form of much flattery and compliments), she has become absolutely obsessed with the rite of exorcism. She has watched many movies on it, read real-life accounts, her favourite new TV show is The Exorcist one which I think is on CBS...she said she just watched a movie called "Defeating the Devil", so she has this recent and complete fascination with the rite of exorcism and demonic possession, whether real-life accounts or fictionalized versions.

Early on when I first caught her in a very long list of lies, a veritable web, and she couldn't use her usual linguistic gymnastics to wiggle her way out when I confronted her... she was caught dead-to-rights so to speak, she accused me of being possessed by Satan and that she had the protection of being a Third Order Carmelite so instead Satan had taken me over to torment and attack her. I calmly responded to that that even though it might feel like an attack of sorts because it is upsetting, calling your wife to account when she has been caught in a huge set of lies that even involved the breaking of her marital vows is right and just, and that it isn't even scriptural that she is protected because of her vows as a secular religious, and even the founder of her order, St. Teresa of Avila, was often attacked demonically.

My wife doesn't flee from prayer, though she has very actively and often tried to keep me from Mass and especially receiving the Sacrament. I sense that there is something spiritual going on here, but I don't know if demons are involved or not.

The more reading I do on the personality disorder of Covert Narcissistic Personality Disorder, and finding out all about this completely separate and wholly other secret life she has been living, with all the almost unimaginable things she has done, and has been doing behind my back for almost a whole decade, going back to when we were first dating, I am thinking more and more this is just a matter of a very pervasive case of a personality disorder so deep that there is no "good Martina" underneath... there is just the false and rather shallow in a way persona; there is nothing underneath the mask I'm afraid. The woman I love more than my life itself in a fairly real way doesn't even exist. That fact has been more crushing than anything else I think.

Jason R. said...

And thank you so much for your prayers Mark W.... I have always felt a certain bond with you for some reason... maybe it's just that I agree so whole-heartedly with all the opinions you post, never once has something you've written not made me nod my head in total agreement.

Just to let you know, I have really been doing, well, just fantastic! I had a real change on Tuesday morning after morning Mass. I was praying the Chaplet in front of the image of Jesus of the Divine Mercy as I always try to do after Mass, and a gaggle of Martina's friends, mostly older women who are very devout themselves, were gossiping about me, and if you take a look at the first reading of the day from October 18th you can see how hypocritical they were being speaking so ill of me, and right after receiving communion as well.

Part of me wanted to yell out, "Y'know, you're only 20 feet away in a completely silent church, I can hear every word! Could you at least have the decency to take your slanderous conversation out of the church?!?". Another part of me wanted to run, like a little boy, I felt such shame even though I hadn't committed any sin, or at least not the sins I had been so seriously been accused of. But the words of Psalm 31 spilled over me, the part about being slandered and rejected by your neighbours, about the protection God the Father had promised me.... and I had a conversion experience I didn't even know I needed.

I had hit my rock bottom, even more than when I was a heroin addict, and it had a lot to do with that dark period of my life long ago. A girl that I really liked, maybe even loved, entered the hard drug scene because of me, and she overdosed and died in my arms. That was the beginning of me getting clean and discovering Christ. But I had always kept the weight of these sins, especially Amber's death... I felt like I needed the punishment, needed to feel pain, even seek it out maybe subconsciously by always getting into relationships with very narcissistic women (my dad definitely had NPD as well as being an alcoholic, and my mother was codependent, so I came by it easily and naturally in any case).

I couldn't move, as in, I was completely paralyzed spiritually. The weight of the sack of sins that I had been carrying with me out of some misguided idea that I must pay for those terrible crimes, and with every sin I committed in small forms probably dozens if not hundreds of times a day sometimes, that sack got heavier and heavier. Those people gossiping right in front of me, accusing me of being mentally disturbed and abusive, it was just one weight too many on me, and I completely broke.

Jason R. said...

I have always suspected that I will go to Hell, even though I try to live as holy a life as I can, being a good father and husband, having a rich prayer life, taking my suffering in good spirits and offering to Jesus Christ to use for the benefit of someone else out there... and it struck me in that moment that I was just getting a tiny taste of the abandonment Jesus must have felt during the trial, the scourging, the way of the cross, and His crucifixion and death, with even His Rock abandoning and denying Him three times. And at that moment I had a deep realization that in holding on to the guilt of my sins I was denying His greatest divine gift of salvation, and as I prayed the words of the Chaplet, "For the sake of His sorrowful passion, have mercy on us, and on the whole world", it was just so, so, so easy, I asked Jesus to take my burden from me, and forgive me for my pride which had made me hold on to the crushing guilt of my sins, and sought out relationships with women with serious NPD issues, I'm realizing as I read more and more about that particular disorder.

I became filled with the most incredible feeling of peace and tranquility, like the most perfect rose you could ever imagine, waiting so patiently to open, and finally blossoming with an unimaginable amount of blooms and sweet smells... it was like when I was an addict and scored my favourite drug of choice, which was very hard to come by, Dilaudid, and I shot it into the special vein that I saved just for it so I would never have to muscle it and waste it's effect, the total bliss and peace of that, which was Satan's counterfeit version of this amazing peace of maybe the Holy Spirit, but this was the real thing; lasting, enduring, and giving life and peace, instead of leading to death and a life of pure chaos. And even though this happened on Tuesday, my anxiety that was a constant companion since childhood, growing up in an alcoholic household, being raped by two men, one a Lutheran minister, very savagely when I was 11 (yes, he served a long sentence in prison for his crimes, but the other man was never identified)... all these things that gave me PTSD and many acute panic attacks which are just horrible, and are sometimes accompanied by flashbacks that leave me a mess for days afterwards, it has just disappeared, and I mean completely.

Jason R. said...

I have no fear at all of having to deal with Martina (though I did take your advice and filed a report with the police. I was lucky enough to talk to one of the constables who arrested me two years ago when Martina swore a false deposition to a judge that I had had a psychotic break, something which hadn't happened and has never, ever happened to me in my life; he said after that incident when a doctor risked losing his license to practice medicine because he refused to commit a man who he could see clearly had nothing wrong with him, not in good conscience, so even though I was kicked out of my home for 3 months until I begged and grovelled and apologized to my wife even though I had done nothing wrong, I had done nothing wrong, and the constable said he had the greatest sympathy for me through that whole ordeal, that he knew the charges made against me were clearly false, but that he still had to do his job. He even said it made him lose sleep for a couple of weeks, something he said never happens to him and he has seen it all. So he said he has her number.... with swearing a false deposition and also a frivolous 911 call where the constables really scolded Martina for wasting their time, he said I had very little to worry about if she comes in making false claims yet again), but back on track:

This peace is still in me, I have shed literally cups of tears, even now my tshirt is soaked through with tears like I have been in a rain storm, but tears of absolute bliss that I can feel are cleansing my emotions, taking away all the pain, the resentment, the anger, the loneliness... and, yes, even though she had even seduced my 71 year old father when he was drunk and had been blackmailing him for money, hoarding all her money from her paycheque as we sunk further and further into debt even though I was the one who had put 100k as a downpayment on our house, all of this horrible stuff, even I highly suspect that my dad died from her poisoning him, and that she had tried the same with me, that I even had a near-death experience, or full-death I even believe, where I had a vision or was actually escorted by two giant angels to Purgatory even... all of this stuff, and I still now forgive her.

I can't help but see her as a very hurt and confused and disordered little girl who had been horribly abused by the one person you should be able to trust above all others in life, her mother.... I know that narcissists are created by the abuse of other narcissists, so I have forgiven my wife for everything, and my fervent wish is that I may meet her in Heaven someday, that Our Lord and Our Lady will maybe help her to have a conversion experience someday, though with how pervasive I fear her personality disorder is, I doubt that this is even possible. But I pray, and I ask you Mark W. to pray for her eternal soul, that God may recognize the reduced culpability that she has done.... during one argument she said to me, "Forgive him Father, for He knows not what He does", when all I was doing was again calling her to account for another huge lie I had discovered, and wanted to give her a chance to say sorry (a word that to my knowledge has never passed her lips in her entire life)... it hurt to be compared to the Roman soldiers who actually took Our Lord's life, but I think a bit of projection was going on, as if her subconscious self, her hidden and tiny piece of real self that is buried under so many layers of deceit and subterfuge, it was asking God to forgive her, for she *truly* knows not what she does, with all the deflecting, splitting, etc., that goes on in her disturbed mind.

Jason R. said...

So my battered self-esteem and confidence are slowly being built back up, I've had the greatest spiritual experience of my life, and it has continued; Tuesday night I attended Holy Hour and a Healing Mass afterwards and I think I may have experience what I can only describe as a spiritual ecstasy, like you read about in the lives of Saints. But how could it be because I am such a sinner, I am still mired in sin even after my great experience of conversion?? And that night when I was praying out loud (which I have gotten in the habit of doing for some reason, I read the Scriptures out loud as well), and I was praying about what to do in my relationship with my wife, how could I stay with someone who is a literal threat and danger to my life and who is psychologically completely unable to change because of the nature of her disorder... I was begging Jesus to give me the right words to pray because I didn't even know what to ask for, I had run out, and I know I needed more of His help but didn't know how or how to ask. And just like that I started praying in tongues. It wasn't gobbledy-goop like I've seen on some televangalist's TV shows, it felt like a very real language, with a structure and repeated bits of phrases. I still don't know what language it was... it sounded vaguely African to me maybe... there are only two phrases that I remembered well enough afterward to quickly jot down. I believed in this gift happening; when I was a heroin addict my mother once prayed for me, after quite a bit of reluctance on her part for some reason, with her hands placed on my head, and only after asking solemn permission, and she prayed in some foreign tongue as well. And after that I did receive the gift of discernment, though I still have often willfully blinded myself, I can sense somehow the good or evil in a person right upon meeting them. And I cannot tolerate being in a club, or in a casino... the feeling of evil in those places makes me literally sick to my stomach, it makes me vomit if I have to walk through one even. And many, many years later when I saw the Passion of the Christ for the first time, I recognized many words and realized that my mother all those years before had been praying in Aramaic, a language that it is completely impossible for her to ever have learned or been exposed to, being a simple prairie girl in the days before the Internet even existed.

Jason R. said...

So, just as promised in Romans 8:28, another verse that keeps popping up in my head and heart, God has taken all the bad things life has been throwing at me; being financially ruined at the worse time, when I am already completely disabled from being to earn my way in the world, having lost my wife and stepdaughters, and even more painfully, I've lost the illusion of my wife and the marriage that I had always hoped would develop when I finally accepted the truth that she has NPD, and is incapable of any real human emotion, has no empathy, no compassion, stuck in her "terrible two's" quite literally for a lifetime, just a ball of envy, greed, fantasies of grandiosity, anger, hatred, anxiety, and depression.... and all the love in the world, all the love that I gave and could still give her, it cannot reach her, and that is the biggest tragedy of my whole life. Yes, I so fervently pray and beg Our Lord that He will pour His Divine and infinite Mercy upon Her, and forgive all her sins as I have forgiven her, too, for I really want to meet her in Heaven someday, when she is cleansed of her demons, figurative or literal, and I of mine, and we can meet, I know it will no longer be as husband and wife, but that we can meet as real friends in the spirit of Our Lord. That hope is all that is keeping me going sometimes.

But I have no longer any anxiety really about the still hard times ahead of selling this house, (she has already bought a brand new condo... she claimed that someone "gifted" her the money for a downpayment, several tens of thousands of dollars, sigh), losing touch with my stepdaughters, who are my entire world since I have taken ill, finding a new and very modest place to live after working so hard to buy this house that we should have been able to afford if she kept her promise of sharing the household expenses and mortgage... she clears after tax 63k compared to my aftertax of just over 30k, yet never contributed a penny towards the household costs. It might sound like I haven't forgiven her in how I am writing, but I have, but I still want to give context to why I have to leave her forever...

Jason R. said...

Even if it means losing touch with my little ones until hopefully they may want to reconnect when they are of the age when they can choose that, I have to get as far away from Martina as possible, as in no contact whatsoever. We both work at the same telecommunications company so that may be very difficult if I ever get back to work, but it just has to be this way. After all the intensive reading and study I've done online and I'm on my 4th paperback about narcissistic personality disorder, and I know what I am up against, and I know the only thing I can do is just run the other direction and never look back. I know I will be getting a divorce someday when I have the funds to do so, and hopefully an annulment given the extreme circumstances of all that has occurred... but that is tomorrow's problem, today I need to just concentrate on getting this house sold, finding a new place to live, and getting my wife as far away from me as possible, emotionally, spiritually, in every way. It will be hard, she is so seductive and manipulative that even knowing all that I do, after talking with her I find myself slipping, even knowing as soon as she drove me into bankruptcy and banked enough money of her own, she would leave me, just as I have now found out was the real reason she left the girls father.

I am so sorry for typing so much. I have lost so, so many friends because of Martina being so diabolically convincing with her horrible lies about me. I have only 4 real friends left, and my sister, and, well, only partially, my daughter, for even she has been confused by Martina as to who and what I am. It is a heavy burden to bear to have lost so much... I wish I would have never, ever confronted Martina about her lies and infidelities, but rather just faded away slowly after giving her everything in the separation, something I'm doing anyways... at least she wouldn't have gone, or not gone so extremely, on her character assassination reign... even calling all my aunts, uncles, cousins, friends I haven't spoken to in many years, everyone she could to tell of tall tales of abuse and me going off my medication for bipolar disorder, which I would never, ever do...cutting me off from any possible source of support she can... but more than that, I sense that in her twisted mind, the more people she can convince of a lie, the more that lie become reality in her mind. None of this made sense until I stumbled upon an article on covert narcissists, and then *everything* made sense. And I knew that what she has is not curable, she is literally beyond hope, even though that goes against everything in our Faith, it is just the nature of her condition.

Jason R. said...

So, again, thank you for your prayers Mark W. and anyone else; they are working, God is showering me with blessings and miracles to offset the pain the world has been causing me, and I know whatever happens, even if I go to jail on trumped up charges, or am locked away in an asylum, I will still be fine because I do have God, and as the founder of Martina's order said, "God alone suffices". But please continue to remember me in your prayers for I have a lot of trials still ahead, and pray for the repose of my father's soul, for after what I've found of him having slept many, many times with my own wife, I worry about where he is right now, and please pray for Martina, for all the evil she is doing, she really can't help herself... she has no conscience, no empathy, and it really isn't her fault... though the incredible destruction she has wrought in my life is the same regardless of her culpability or lack of it. So please pray for Martina and my girls who I miss so much as well.

Your prayers are not in vain, for I see the fruits of those prayers in my heart and spirit, and before my eyes in the strength the Lord is lending me. I started this whole journey praying at my mother's graveside after the anniversary of her death, Aug. 2, while she died on July 29th. I was so hard on myself for missing it this year, but with so much going on. And I talked to her and I talked to Our Lady, and Our Lord, that summer afternoon right out loud, asking, begging, imploring for guidance, and I got the answer back to go to Mass at the catherdral in Regina, so I drove straight away, and the readings, the Psalm, the Gospel, and the homily based on the writings of St. Philip, they all seemed to be answering all my questions, and I have prayed then, and even prayed with Martina together, for only one thing... that though we may see through a glass darkly with our flawed human vision, that God would grant us both, even if for the briefest of moments, to see things as clearly as He Himself does.... and I feel God has granted me this wish, this prayer, for I do see everything so clearly now. I don't know if God granted this to Martina, it doesn't seem like it from her continuing behavior, but maybe He tried and she rejected His gift... I don't know, and I'm really working on not caring as well, or rather, still caring, but from a great and safe distance away from her and her life forever. I have even been considering a life of a priest or a religious if they would take me in the shape I'm in, and maybe have some use for me... I spent a year in formation when I was 23 to 24, and that little voice has never quite gone away, which didn't make sense when I thought I was still in a holy and blessed marriage, even though the cracks showed up almost from the day she got that ring on her finger, but maybe after an annulment, who knows??

I truly believe that I did die from cardiac arrest, I was shown Purgatory, and God brought me back. And He would not bring me back for no purpose at all, there must be something or some job I am to complete or fulfill. Maybe include that in any prayers for me, that I may discover what He wants of me, because I am His more than willing and complete servant right now, and hope to stay this way forever more.

Mark W said...


Well, you certainly have been through a lot lately.

Not a lot of time just now, but I have a couple of thoughts for the moment.

First off: "My wife doesn't flee from prayer, though she has very actively and often tried to keep me from Mass and especially receiving the Sacrament. I sense that there is something spiritual going on here, but I don't know if demons are involved or not."

Have you ever seen the Merchant of Venice? Shakespeare has a great deal of depth on this kind of thing:

“The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
An evil soul producing holy witness
Is like a villain with a smiling cheek,
A goodly apple rotten at the heart.
O, what a goodly outside falsehood hath!”

This seems to fit your wife as much as anything else.

I've talked to some people I know at my parish. We're arranging a counter-attack. Let me know what happens on Monday and Tuesday. Monday will be directed at you, Tuesday at your wife and family. No details, just let me know.

As to the sacramentals and the not shying away from prayer, keep in mind that these are things she expects or knows in advance. The idea is to throw something into the mix that she doesn't see coming. If it's spiritual, the unexpected might just do the trick.

Does she know Latin? If not, you might try getting her to recite a simple prayer:

Vade retro satana
Numquam suade mihi vana
Sunt mala quae libas
Ipse venena bibas

Two things before you do this. First, this is part of the inscription on your St. Benedict medal, so she may know it. Second, if she knows it, don't try it. The objective is to throw her a curve with the intention of seeing the reaction. Things she knows about in advance can be worked around on her side. Things she doesn't see coming may give you a better judgement of the reaction. If she objects and says something like, "what am I saying?", that's not really a reaction. If she gets into it and the words simply won't come out, that's a reaction.

(Translation: Begon Satan, tempt me not with your vanities, what you offer me is evil, drink the poison yourself.)

Mark W said...

Next, if you don't know already, understand the four levels of demonic activity.
1. Suppression
2. Mild Oppression
3. Full Oppression
4. Possession

It's not number 4. That requires the subject to willingly and knowingly invite the darkness...and you would likely never know. Just be aware of what each is, so you can monitor and know what to look for.

"...she has become absolutely obsessed with the rite of exorcism."

This is a fascinating tidbit of information. A couple of ideas. First, if she's interested, it likely means that she realizes that there's a problem. Do you know of any occasion during her youth when she messed with the darkness - Ouija boards, goofing with friends, playing with witchcraft, anything? Her interest may be from having allowed something dark into her life, and she doesn't know how to get rid of it. It could also be mental illness speaking, and she could just be interested again because she realizes something is wrong. I doubt the demonic would ever bring up The Rite for fear of bringing attention to itself. But it may be a less direct indication that something is amiss from the past. See if you can find out what started the recent interest.

"there is nothing underneath the mask I'm afraid. The woman I love more than my life itself in a fairly real way doesn't even exist."

There is something under the mask, have no doubt of that. The question is what and how to draw it out in a positive way.

"He would not bring me back for no purpose at all, there must be something or some job I am to complete or fulfill."

Of that I have no doubt. And I'll offer this as a potential answer to the implied question - you may be the only opportunity left in your wife's life to bring the light back. When I read your quote, that was the first answer that came to me.

You may be right in a very real way - the woman you thought you knew may not exist in any real way. But there is a woman in there somewhere, and if the forces of darkness are after her, then you may be the only chance she has of ever emerging from it.

Now, having said all this, I would see if you can find a psych doctor that will talk to you about this disorder. It's an excellent move that you contacted the authorities, even in a low-key kinda way. But it might be equally prudent to contact a doctor as well...describe it and see what they say. You never know. I also feel that there's something dark going on here, but you simply never know.

If you can get to confession before Monday morning, do try. If not, no big deal. But be alert for anything that happens on both days. Monday will be directed at you, Tuesday at your wife and kids. Let us know if anything unusual happens.

Pax Christi Sit Semper Vobiscum

Mark W said...

Oh, and just as a point that I should have made earlier - movies like the Exorcist and The Exorcism of Emily Rose, would be full oppression, not possession. With possession, you'd likely never know it was happening.

Anonymous said...

Nato puts 300,000 troops on ‘HIGH ALERT’ amid fears of all out confrontation with Russia

the diversion by the insane pedophiles of the us/nato

Patty said...

Mystic Maria Valtorta made a clarification in one of her writings compiled into the booklet, "The End Times" that the Beast who looks like it suffered a fatal injury was given power again by the dragon and everyone marveled at it and followed it. She mentioned outside the revelatory writing from Jesus, that Jesus was speaking about Nazism, Fascism or Communism - but specifically what Hitler was as a leader and person. I believe Maria was correct. Nazism went underground to build up behind the scenes. Germany got rich off pharmaceuticals, technology went into warp speed - giving us satellites, internet, and all the tools to rule the world. The Mark of the Beast or "the chip" which is inserted will advance to identify people with their DNA, thus fulfilling the number of man, and order it for everyone by worldly law. We need to raise our hearts to the Lord God's purpose in this insofar as we know that through all this technology the Gospel has been preached to all the nations. Very loudly I might add. Mary, the Mother of God has appeared continuously at Medjugorje and other places for our benefit. So, People have come to reject or accept the Gospel in a quantity acceptable to God's Justice for such time as the Anti-Christ and Beasts to issue forth in the world. Man's corruption and God's Graces in his current Children (who love Him) are being weighed in heavenly scales. Because some humans are still confused as to what Goodness is, but they have personal Goodwill, the final test will be equal in and outside the One, Holy, Catholic and Apostolic Church of Jesus Christ and God will test people's faith through the acceptance or rejection of the Mark - (the chip). I hope Pope Francis doesn't get martyred, but if it fulfills God's Mighty work in this mighty Pope, so be it. Lay people should kindly demand that the Mass remain as is. 2,000 years of the same Mass seems to be fine with God in assisting to feed the hungry souls and form souls for Heaven. The sky's activities next year as described by the mystical astronomers sure seems to be worthy of watching. I personally have gone by the biblical suggestion to "leave Babylon" and keep my life very simple, prayerful, and very mindful of my utter smallness and ability for my uncanny ability to be a sinner in this big creation the Lord Made Good. Another mystic, Luisa Picarretta, said, "Call the Divine Will in all you do, whether natural or spiritual." To be too scrupulous about whether an individual is going to live or die during these trials is not a very worthy Trust in the Lord. At some time, we're all going to pass from this life to the next and truly, it's the quality of our faith, hope, and charity and His Everlasting Grace through the Holy Spirit that will grant us understanding and knowledge of why we are where we are when we are there! Love God and Neighbor as Jesus did and nothing will go wrong - no matter who says what.

Thanks for your work to keep us abreast and God Bless all through Mary's Immaculate Heart!

Life's Questions - Solved! said...

Am I the only one who thinks to bring up the election of an outspoken non-Christian as the president of the USA? He touts himself to be a better savior than Jesus, stating "real saviors" don't need nor get nailed to crosses, similar to his statement that POWs aren't heroes, because a "real hero" wouldn't get captured. He also called Jesus a "socialist loser" and said "Mary, definitely not a virgin." He displays a clear present Anti-Christian God complex, repeatedly committing these forms of blasphemy, but still receives supporters, even making fun of Mother Teresa saying no man would ever want her so "she's not even a mother". Not to mention being proud of adultery, admitting to being abusive without recourse, then marrying into more endless lustful sin. I've never met nor heard of anyone more offensive to me as a Christian than this man. They have eyes, but do not see, ears, but do not hear, what this "rich man" actually says. He is obviously not willing to "give up all that he has and follow Christ" just because he has "Merry Christmas" written on his podium and quotes and "eye for an eye" brings bag war from the old testament like a Nazi or Islamic extremist would. It's obvious to me he's a false prophet sent to bring destruction upon the world, especially now that he wants to be "best friends" with the Hindus and praises Putin for the communist Russia model. At best, he's just a demagogue, at worst, the final seal is broken. Sadly, I do not believe the USA will every yield to Christ as their ruler like Poland has. The people here around me in fact praise Trump as their Savior and King. Their blindness here confounds me.